Fall

I did the 24 hour pee test. I collected my urine for 24 hours and brought it to the lab. In October I will have another appointment with an internist where I will get the results back from the urine and the blood test. Then I'll find out if I need to take medication as a precaution for osteoporosis.

I also saw my radiologist which was just a regular check up. Everything was fine.

This week I met our company doctor for the first time. We have been having our conversations over the phone for the last year. The appointment itself went okay I suppose. He understands I have to finish my Herceptin treatment before even thinking of going back to work. Which is good. It's just that I feel uncomfortable talking to another person about everything.

I still get upset so easily. Even when my boss just asks about my appointment with the company doctor. I get suspicious and anxious. People that are asking me about living with my parents. I really find it hard to talk to people again. I'm so scared of being judged. I realize I'm just very tired and vulnerable at the moment and that every word, every sentence they speak might be too much for me right now.

If that wasn't enough I also had another echocardiogram. Passed it with a steady ejection fraction of 62%. So at least that's good news. Her-crap-tin may continue.

I have been getting lots of reactions to my hair lately. Even three compliments by complete strangers who do not know any of my cancer story. Although I can not wait for my curls to come back,  I have to admit that did feel pretty damn good.

Today on the other hand, my neighbour did not recognize me with my post chemo hair. Awkwaaaard. 

I also had a really weird sincere moment with one of my parents' neighbours. He came to check out my dad's new Vespa. I was standing outside in my pink pyjamas and my bunny slippers and he walked towards me and just hugged me and told me they were thinking a lot about me. I felt so overwhelmed by this and got teary eyed right away. It just felt so honest and sincere.

Love and hope. How important.