The last 2 KM

So after my adventure with the Fluvoxamine anti-depressants and talking to my psychiatrist I (we) decided to try something else. Something just for my anxiety called Pipamperon. Now you have to know I love watching The Walking Dead but actually turning into a zombie now that's a complete different story. It did exactly the opposite as the Fluvoxamine did. I do have to admit it helped with my anxiety but other than that it was horrible. I felt no joy any more. I couldn't even have a normal conversation with my parents! They said I had no facial expression. I couldn't sleep, constant head aches and I was trembling on the inside but looked numb on the outside. So freaky weird.

So for now... no more drugs.

I seriously was about to quit the last two Herceptin, that's how bad I felt. A dead battery; no energy left. But now that I quit those damn pills, okay I'm still nervous as hell... but I do feel better. I feel like myself again. I started painting in my art journal and I enjoy taking walks. Although I don't feel festive and I will be so happy when the Holidays are over... I think I need to finish this treatment even if it's a struggle.

I talked to my psychologist today. She said, "You're not going to quit 2 KM before the finish line right?"

So tomorrow is my birthday, I am turning 32. I am trying not to think about this year too much. I read somewhere, "Don't look back because you're not going into that direction", and it seems very fitting.

I think I will start my New Year in February instead of January. It will be something different for a change.

Happy Holidays to my dear readers! 

Some days there won't be a song in your heart...  SING ANYWAY!