So I saw my oncologist last week and I got to ask all my questions about the Tamoxifen. We also talked about the Zoladex injection. Which kind of freaked me out. My onc wanted to do a blood test and he will get the results back in two weeks. I will then have another appointment with him. He told me to write down my questions again (and you bet I will) and we'll make a treatment plan.
He told me perhaps I can start the Tamoxifen every other day so my body can slowly get used to it. Which sounds appealing to me.
In the mean time I have been asking around about the Zoladex injection and found out not that many women actually take it. So I'm having seriously doubts about that one. I will spare you all the menopause side effects details. But it's some scary shit.
So I am tired. Of all this crap. But somewhere, deep down, I have to believe that maybe this time... the side effects won't be so bad. That I have been through so much and that I can handle this as well. I have to believe. If not, I made a promise to myself I'm done. I will quit the shit and will try to move on. But first you try. First you have faith.
He said it takes at least 6-9 months before my body will feel a little bit better after everything its been through. I might never reach my old energy level... but then again nothing is sure in cancer land.
Today I saw my company doctor. My company hired a new one. Although he read my file he wanted me to tell my story in my own words. I did it without crying this time. Which was pretty awkward actually. It was a good talk all and all. He was pretty nice and not pushy. July 2014 I will be sick for two years and then different rules apply. He said I won't be back at work by then. So I have to apply for sick leave at the UWV. This doesn't mean I can start working on a therapeutic basis whenever I feel like it. However I have to file like a billion papers before April now which is really just wonderful, exactly what my mind needs right now.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psych. And so the story continues...