So it's pretty obvious by now that after chemo there was no switch that magically flipped back and turned life back to normal. If only things would work like that...
Herceptin treatment continues. At the same floor, with the same nurses. Which basically means major chemo flashback! This whole thing really upsets me. It brings back so many bad memories. I got to take pills for nausea this time. I have to admit I didn't want to take any more pills after chemo. Enough poison went through my body. But the nurse told me to choose between being nausea for the rest of the year or pop a pill every now and then. So I gave in and took the pills.
I am actually a bit disappointed by the whole Her-'crap'-tin. I think it was sort of described as a walk in the park after chemo. But during the last round I got diarrhoea the first day and I was very tired for the next three days. I had to take naps during the afternoon again. First you try to resist because again: major chemo flashback! But you better just give in and I have to admit I really do feel better after three days. But it's just not what I was expecting. Of course the side effects are mild compared to chemo and I know I have to accept them and get used to it. Make this part of my routine. Because I'll be getting Herceptin for the rest of the year (and then some more).
The Herceptin flows through the IV in 30 minutes. I wonder if I have less side effects if they like for example set it to an hour. I really have to ask next time. The nurses have been sweet and understanding, but also strict. I appreciate their advice but sometimes I also believe I have to follow my own path. I still haven't made up my mind about whether or not I want to go into therapy or something like that. But my last chemo was only six weeks ago, (yes that short!). So I have to give it time and I can reach out for help any time I want to. For now I just want peace & balance.
Oh and a little patience would be nice. With people. With hair growth. People asking about hair growth. That sort of thing.
Wouldn't a switch to flip be wonderful to get things back to "normal"?? (Whatever that means now)I can so relate to your feeling of needing to following your own path. Your medical team I'm sure gives you wonderful guidance and advice and wants only the best for you, but you're the only one who IS you and knows how you are feeling and what seems right. Don't forget that - take care of yourself :)
ReplyDeleteThe hair growth thing drove me crazy for about the first four months after chemo. So I feel you on being frustrated. I hope you have your calm in abundance, mixed in with laughter and a bit of happy adventure too. ~Catherine
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