I seriously have way too high expectations. Life, people... blah. Words do hurt. The absence of words do too.
All I wanted was a bit of happiness, a bit of sunshine. So far it has been raining and not exactly a good month. But May isn't over yet. Perhaps it's not too late.
I am so tired of feeling all these feelings. I'm scared and lost. Lonely and angry. Sad and nervous. I know I try too hard sometimes. But I just wish a day would go by without me thinking about the c-word. Because I am sick and tired of it. Everything. People have no clue about the ripple effect.
Next week I have to talk to the insurance doctor at the UVW about my sick leave. Not exactly something I'm looking forward to. But hey it's the c-word... and that is how it is.
I hate how much I doubt myself. I can't stand how emotional I am. I stress about everything. I can not even begin to explain it. You might think I'm crazy. But trust me the effects of the c-word are HUGE. I know I'm better off accepting it. But that is very hard. Because the c-word took away so much from me. I know if I get through this it will make me a stronger person. With a different view at life. But I'm not there yet.
Okay at least let me try to end this with some positive news. Six of my photos will be available in the Cardcetera webshop as a postcard series! I am so proud of this! You can read an introduction here. I really should listen to my own advice I just realized. These postcards are pretty clever ;)