May 23, 2014


Today was my appointment with the insurance doctor at the UVW. The Dutch safety net for people who are sick for longer than two years. I was nervous but prepared. Or so I thought.

I was meeting with this doctor under the assumption we would talk for an hour. He shook my hand and then said, "So you had a tumor and are depressed now?"

Wow. I mean wow. REALLY?! That's how you start a conversation?

So I answered that my story was a bit longer than that and so was my treatment plan. So we discussed that for a bit, I went through the numbers... radiation therapy, chemo and herceptin.

Then he wanted to know why I wasn't working. I know he was doing his job, but seriously just a tiny bit of empathy would have helped and made me feel better. I gave him the papers of my oncologist and pharmacist because I came prepared. He made a stupid comment about the font size of the paper work the company doctor sent.

Then we talked about my emotional state of mind and he asked me why I wasn't seeing a therapist more often. Fucking rude dude!

If you think that's all... no he wasn't finished. After 15 minutes (!!!) he asked if I wanted to add anything to our conversation or felt something was left out. I was flabbergasted this was it. So I told him that I didn't feel our conversation did justice to the pain I am feeling and the horrible thing I went through at age 30. You know what he said? "It could have been worse, you should be happy to be alive."

So yes I left there very upset. Yes that's an understatement. I called my boss afterwards and I'm thankful for her support. I know whatever happens I still have a job. I also have a good feeling about our company doctor and his judgement.

At first I was really upset and sad... but now when I think about it I get so angry as well. Treating me like that after everything I have been through. You do not have the right to speak to me like that! Motherfucker. It's not like I broke my leg or something like that. I didn't go on a cruise asshole! I had cancer and my soul and body feel torn apart.

Next week I have to go back for another meeting with an employment specialist. I am seriously hoping for someone a bit more qualified. Or better yet, a bit more human.


  1. Apparently, his life has never been impacted by anything, so why should things be so stressful? I'm sure that if someone he loved was in the same situation, he would react differently. I would hate to think that someone could be that cold and callous, but there seems to be those types of people in the world.
    It's not like you're trying to take advantage of the system or anything. You have been through hell, and are living to tell the tale, and he has no sympathy.

  2. Thanks for your support Lance! I really hate the way he does his job. Just a bit of compassion and emotion would have given me a totally different feeling!

  3. What a fu**ing idiot, that's all I can say! Jerk with no feelings. Got me all upset just reading your blog entry!

  4. He wasn't doing his job, he was being a complete ass hat. Is there someone within his insurance company you can contact re service? Because that fellow should not be in that role. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry you needed to encounter that onslaught of ignorance. So rude, and such a lack of compassion.

  5. WHAT?! This made me SO angry! What a total asshole! I know you don't want to complain, but please consider at least writing a letter - the way he treated and spoke to you is NOT okay. Big hugs to you, sweetie xoxo