August 12, 2012

Everything is cancer

A few days after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I was taking a walk with my sister. People were staring at me. It felt as if the word 'cancer' was written on my forehead.

When the cashier at the grocery store wishes me a happy weekend I just cringe and want to get the hell out of there.

When a guy uses his car horn to impress me I just wanted to scream at him he won't be using that after I have turned into miss Baldy.

Everything is different now. Everything has a different meaning all of a sudden. But it's me who's changing and not the rest of the world. I am the one who's much more aware of everything happening around me. I notice things that I would not have noticed before.

Watching a romantic movie? The girl dies of leukemia. Looking out of the window? A woman wearing a scarf wrapped around her head passes by. Reading a magazine. Why is the one with Sylvie van der Vaart lying on top?

It was al there before this happend. It just never hit so close to home.


  1. Zo herkenbaar wat je schrijft..Echt heel bizar he? On werkelijke toestand..Ik zal duimen voor je operatie.Sterkte! Heel leuk blog trouwens.. ik ga m volgen!

    1. Ik heb jouw blog ook toegevoegd aan mijn blogroll!

  2. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through with cancer. I can relate to this post although my experience is no where near as bad... because I've been living with infertility (hopefully it can be cured) and when you go through that suddenly babies and pregnancy are everywhere. I know your experience is far worse but I just wanted to share my small piece of understanding to reach out to you on this. I truly cannot imagine what you're going through xxx

  3. Oh Beth thanks for sharing that, I had no idea. I hope you will be okay! I guess we have reached that certain age when babies pop up everywhere! But hey, we're still young! There's still hope! Have faith in faith! XX

  4. I read this and had a sad smile...everything is oh so familiar. But chin up chica I've gotten more bell dings and cat calls when I walk out of my house bald and proud than ever before. Bald is Beautiful because it speaks to an inner strength. xx L