September 13, 2012

To wig or not to wig

The last few days were very hard for me. I feel as if I have so little control over my life and well it just hit me how much I miss my old life. I am being ripped away from my everyday life. Julie compared our journey to a road trip. Her comparison seemed so spot on! With each treatment they will give you time to recover before the next. But in fact it's nothing more than a short break to pee. You gotta get back into the car until the next rest stop. You stretch your legs and use the bathroom, maybe you will feel a little better. Then after a while, you start to feel trapped in your car. You start to panic about everything. Oh my god where is that next rest stop?! Then I haven't even mentioned our destination yet: live a long and healthy life. But wherever we go next... we will carry this road trip with us in a large bag pack and it will hang heavy on our shoulders.

03/52 Movie Star

After I found out I had breast cancer I knew right away I was going to get bald. It was only a few days later when I stood in front of my mirror with a scarf wrapped around my head to see what I would look like. My first instinct was to go with a wig. But after talking to the nurses and reading more about it online I figured it would be more comfy to wear a scarf. Then I met several people online rocking the wig and decided to change my opinion once more. I mean, why not try it all?

So today was my first appointment at a store specialised in wigs. It was weird. WEIRD. Trying them on, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. The girl helping me was very sweet but at some point I  looked like Anita Meijer. The plan is to go medium short and curly (my hair is now long and curly). The wigs they had were way too blond for me. Blond is not my colour. (It was obviously Marilyn Monroe's thing. I took the photo above in January this year for a movie star theme. I bought the wig on Ebay for 7 euro). So I'm thinking more brownish, warm, mocca, chestnut. But hey there was at least one that I sort of liked. So they are going to order it in several colours. They will also order a few more so I get to do another wig party. When I pick one out, they are going to cut my hair similar to the wig to prepare me for chemo. Yup nobody said it was easy. 

11 comments:

  1. Nope, nobody said it was easy. Sigh. I say get the wig you can always choose not to wear it. :-) For the few weeks before I was going to lose my hair I dyed it a funky red/purple color. I'd always wanted to try it but never had the guts and I figured if I hated it I wouldn't have to deal with it for very long. One small way to have a bit of fun amidst the hard. xx L

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  2. I have 2 wigs but rarely wore them. I always felt like everyone could tell it was a wig. Your mind can be a dangerous thing. One day it is charged up ready to fight. Then, out of the blue, you get upset out of no where. What an emotional ride we are on. Have a great weekend!

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    1. Yes that is so true! I really hate all the mood swings! It makes me feel so insecure and unstable!

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  3. Denk dat je je heel goed voorbereid op deze manier! Ik heb ook alles in huis gehaald, sjaals, mutsjes en een pruik. Vond het een fijn gevoel alle mogelijkheden te hebben. Uiteindelijk had ik geen energie om los te gaan met creatieve sjaal-mutsjes creaties en was (en ben dat nog steeds!!) erg gesteld op mijn pruik. Stop die backpack maar vol, je weet nooit waar je behoefte aan hebt tijdens deze zware reis!! Liefs

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    1. Nee ik heb er nu ook wel een goed gevoel bij die pruik. Volgende week terug komen om naar de donkere tinten te kijken.. en dat staat vast al heel anders! Als je inderdaad ziek bent is het fijn als je niet veel tijd aan dat soort dingen hoeft te besteden. Dat zeiden ze in de winkel ook, is toch weer een zorg minder. O.a. door jouw positieve ervaring ben ik van gedachte veranderd! Thanks girlie XX!

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  4. I have no idea what I would do in your situation.
    I do know, that you have to feel confident about yourself. If you feel that you have a wig that helps that happen, then I applaud you for wearing it. If you find that you choose not to wear anything, I applaud that too. I have discovered that the more comfortable you are with yourself, other people sense it. When you can feel good about yourself, that is really all that matters. I think I told you this before: Scars are badges of honor for experiences survived.
    Live
    Everything else will be what it will be...

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    1. Yeah I suppose it just eases my mind a little bit and I feel a bit more prepared. Thanks Lance!

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  5. You're beautiful, with or without a wig because your beauty comes from within. XOXO kel.

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  6. I have been told to inform you, from a friend of my wife, that she had a similar experience. Her hair seems to grow in fully and faster at this point, now that the chemo is over. She went through this a few years ago, and now has hair as long as yours appears to be. Like you, she is too young to be having to experience tortures such as this. Also like you, she was too determined to let this beat her.
    She won.
    So shall you

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