March 6, 2013

Never ending

Today I saw my oncologist. If you follow my blog, well then you know how I usually feel after these appointments. I don't know what to write. How to write. I feel like I'm about to explode with all these different kind of emotions. I'm extremely sad, desperate, angry, worried, upset, hurt, confused... Crying, screaming, sobbing, barely breathing.

It was another tough day for sure.

I like my oncologist but I am so sick of this cancer world. Next time we're going to talk about the hormone blocking therapy and when it would be best to start. I never thought hormone blocking therapy could start next to the Herceptin and I seriously question if this is a good idea. But I guess he wants to discuss all options.

Now sit tight. I will have my first echocardiogram this month and they will continue every three months. In June I have to do a new mammogram and echo. Some detailed blood tests and my first Dexa scan. Which is a measuring of bone mineral density. Then I'll have appointments with my surgeon and radiologist. Terrific! Fan-freakin'-tastic!

Once again you realize it's a never ending story. 

The Rose That Grew From Sadness


  1. Oh Ciel, it really seems like a never-ending story. Why do you have to get an echo so often? And why a Dexa scan? Because of the medicine you're taking now?

    I just hope that, once chemo is done, you can slowly start back into your normal life again. Well... at least your hair will grow back again. 1cm a month - that's fast!

    This all sucks so much! So so much! I can imagine that you're sick of all this cancer world. The two months of not knowing what my lump was seemed like ages!

    Hugs and Kissies <3

    1. Never-ending it is.

      It's very rare but Herceptin can affect the heart muscle that would explain the echo.

      As for the Dexa scan certain breast cancer treatments (chemo/hormonal therapy) can speed up bone loss or cause you to lose more bone than you normally would.

      YES to speedy hair grow!